"dtraap dai tee mee rak yom mee wang"

... finds solace on aex's thoughts on the intricacies of life, love, and friendship. "dtraap dai tee mee rak yom mee wang"...

and so there goes my first ever shout-out on facebook. haven't been joining the bandwagon for quite sometime now. thought i'd give it a shot...

btw, bangkok is still on top of my head. i missed the whole thing. hongkong/macau was great! picturesque at that. but bangkok, though humble, was charming! i wanna go back there sometime in december. *crosses fingers.

here are some loved photos from my own siam gallery. lol. just wanted to share... 

(that's me on our way to central world from siam paragon. it's the 3rd biggest mall in the world - the biggest one in SE asia - according to some researching i did. it's quite similar to gateway though it has 8 floors. fyi: moa is ranked 4th overall.) 

(that's the same spot where ying and tong watched mew during christmas eve concert in LOS. lol.)

(in front of siam discovery. another mall. we didn't think of coming inside as we didn't have much time.)

(the oh-so-famous footbridge connecting siam square to siam center/discovery area.)

(starbucks siam square! parang nasa malate lang ah!)

(in siam square. the setting of the movie LOS. it's a popular place among young people in bangkok. they say students and yuppies hang-out here after study or work. parang cubao lang din ah!)

(central world! love it! posing with some statue on one of its entrances.)

(siam paragon's fountains with the bts skytrain at the back. "the pride of bangkok" as its tagline says is somewhat similar to our shangri-la. uhm. i should say we've got better malls here. promise.)

(chatuchak park! right before we went to its famous weekend market.)

(mbk! parang sm yata nila 'to.) 

(siam center area. this is the location of august band's christmas eve concert in the movie.)

Let's talk Thai

Let’s talk Thai!

Ok… So I don’t know how and where to start. I promised myself that I would be sharing my first Thai experience to people whom I’m in contact with online. And that includes flooding their Multiply inboxes with gazillions of photos I took! But that’s just the least I could do. I figured writing was a more effective medium of letting people know what it is about Thailand that got me so hooked.

Ok… This one’s gonna be long. So bear with me please! Haha.

I really couldn’t decipher where this fascination of mine about anything Thai started. Of course I’ve heard about this country way back in elementary but that was it!  

Came high school… Someone named Tata Young showed up on the scene with her effort to conquer the international world of music armored by her nice set of legs and Mariah-ish image. Lol. 

Years after, a movie called “Bangkok Haunted” joined the league of numerous Japanese horror flicks making their way on Philippine movie scene. Again, none of these prompted me to even dare to ask what it is one can see there. Then came 2007. A friend of mine went to Thailand and had “the time of his life” (as he narrated it). And so I started googling. To my surprise, I enjoyed what I saw! Loads of sites showed its beautiful beaches, magnificent temples, sumptuous food, never-ending shopping haunts, booming entertainment scene, and everything! 

One night, a link to a popular Thai movie called “The Love of Siam” popped up as I was surfing. Suddenly I remembered this was the same movie that same friend asked me to see a year ago as he said this was extraordinarily good! But when I asked him what it was about, I just replied with my usual “if I have the time”. Anyway, I was surprised the whole movie was on YouTube. And man! Dang! I was moved after I watched it. I never thought 3-hour movies (with Titanic as the exception) could sustain my attention nowadays. Everything about it was excellent! Ok… So now I’m ranting! Just watch it if you have time people. 

Anyway, going back, such was this movie’s impact on me that when some friends asked me to go to Thailand, I readily gave a “yes”. Lol. I said I wanted to sit idly and eat much in Siam Square. Haha. 

So fast-forward… Three weeks after the trip, I still couldn’t get Thai off my system. Everything about it still lingers inside me! And swear to God, I bet people around me are irritated everytime I utter “Eh kase sa Thailand…” and “Balik tayo dun!” statements! There’s just too much really I’ve embraced with my heart about Thailand and its culture! The people are so friendly. They truly charm the world with their smile. I missed doing the wai, which was their way of showing respect to others specially to elders. It’s somehow similar to our mano po. One more thing was their use of “kha/p” at the end of every statement, which can be likened to our “po, opo”. Discipline wise though, I think they’re way over us. I was shocked to see people line up when going inside the train and witness drivers following every traffic rule there is – lanes are followed and not too much horning! Maybe this has something to do with their form of government. I was told their King (Bhumibol) and Queen (Sirikit) were given the highest respects. Kids in the early years were already taught this basic societal obligation. What’s more interesting to note was that not any foreign group colonized Thailand. Dang! What!? We were under the Spaniards, Japanese, Americans and God knows who else for eras of our existence! 

This may be the reason why their culture is still much preserved – the magnificent temples and their way of writing. Thai characters are so cute! They appear like mushrooms to me but I enjoyed seeing them as they remind me I’m really on Thailand soil! Hahaha. And man, when you’re there, you would see every sort of mushroom there is in every corner! 

I also had the best time when we went to Phuket. Leo’s “The Beach” was there right before my very eyes! It was a surreal feeling! Then I realized we were so much alike as tourist locations. Phuket, Krabi, Koh Samui = Boracay, Bohol, Palawan! Chiang Mai = Baguio! The major difference may be lies on the fact that we’re so island people! I mean, 7, 107 islands make each group of people in most areas speak and maybe react differently to certain issues. Haha. 

Anyway, shopping is a must-do in Thailand! It’s more convenient as compared to other countries since 1 peso is somehow equivalent to 1 baht. So no need to convert that much! Items in the markets specially clothes were so stylish not to mention affordable! I enjoyed Chatuchak and Platinum Fashion Mall! As a matter of fact, clothes that I buy from Trinoma have this “Made in Thailand” on their tags. So even if I’m here, I still breathe Thailand. Hahaha.

There’s more to share but my hands are so tired already so I’ll shut up now. Bye!

am i back?

omg! i just learned i wasn't writing anything for this site the past two months or so...

gosh! and so i promise to be back. really! i'm still putting some thoughts on track regarding some recent travels i had the past month. i hope i could make some sensible and honest entry about my thai experience. haha. it was "something" really! sort of huge for me. it was my first trip abroad for Christ's sake! 

ok... so, i don't know what else to say. i badly missed this opportunity to have my brain muscles stretched a bit not on some routine "patient was able to" OT stuff but on something more interesting, dynamic, and vibrant like ranting about the jeepney driver who asked for an unfair .50 cents extra on my fare this morning or the face of the beggar i saw at the side of the road before i went home. lol. am i making sense here people? or just talking shit? haha.

basta! --> it's been a while since i uttered this! hahahahaha.

i'll be back with a bang! just watch and see!  

    

life inventory

The past week had been a rollercoaster ride of emotions and has since given me chills. A good friend of mine has some serious problem at hand. This one’s got me off the hook. I’m shocked and bothered I keep on asking myself where my saturation point at being a good friend lies. I mean, I don’t even know if I am one anymore. Am I doing enough? Should I stop already? Oh gosh. Btw, just two days after that, an appalling thing happened! We were mugged! I mean, not really the proper term I guess, but some desperate parasites entered our pad. It turned out the three maggots got in around 3am while we were sleeping. They sneaked in through the terrace, climbing over the gate like some spider monkey excited to get some Yamashita-like treasure inside our humble abode. Oh please… It was a good thing though, we thought, that we were so deeply dreaming that we didn’t notice them ‘cause who knows what might have happened if we weren’t?! They might have hurt or did the worst thing to us or something! Geeez! Fuck them! Thank God that my things were safe. Packed them inside some bags the night before as compared to Chard’s which were displayed all over the room. His gadgets (laptop, ipod, and cellphone) were taken. *sigh. So yeah, thank you Lord so much! I owe you another one. This thing made me realize even more how to look at things. Material stuffs, no matter how expensive and hard-earned they are, could be taken away from you any minute. Not that I don’t know this beforehand, of course, but something of this magnitude hits you hard it appears more real! So I cleared some things off my closet. I thought of giving some items, which no longer look good on me, to my nephews. Hehe... I hope they’d be happy about it. Uhm… I’ll promise to be more generous and sharing this time around. :)

What else to post?    

Yeah… I’m starting to see the sun once more. After living under precarious shadows for some time, now I’m feeling some propitious warmth again.

* Take care of me. 

looking forward to the sun

I never in a million years ever thought that you’d still be there despite moments of crashing down and crappy misfortunes.

You always stood by me through tough times.

Remember when you told me that if anything went wrong with Plan A, I’d always have you as B. Uhm… Thought you were just bluffing. How could you say that! Someone like you deserves someone more than me! You are to me a sweet reverie that only visits my head once in a while. Lollerz.

Yet time and time and again, you proved to be my pillar of strength - unwavering - making its way in every heartache and drama this past year of my life has given me. Never mused that Plan B’s could be so staunch! J

I thank God for you.

I won’t demand that you’d stay. That would be repulsive and selfish of me. Let’s just see what happens. But as always, thank you for brightening up my sky every time clouds of desperation shatters it… for guiding me through interminable tunnels of darkness… for shielding me from gushy cascade of rain... and for always giving your time every moment life throws colossal exploits at me.  

Thank you so much!

You are my sun! You are my summer! 

* I’m so looking forward to this summer. Can we do it again? J

good luck on that!

This blog has been stagnant for the past months – months, which I thought, were filled with celestially happy moments but turned out to be the opposite.

Anyway, I never learn. Owel. What hurts the most was how some minute act of honesty, must’ve slipped out of someone’s head. Haaaay. Friends wouldn’t in millennia go through eras of pretension – trying to make up stories using other people’s names just to clear themselves. How inhuman! If that’s your idea of friendship, then you with hell’s consent deserve each other. J

I could not swallow and digest how you could enjoy watching other people do your dirty laundry. Gosh! And oh my goodness! How pathetic of you to master the art of treachery just to make me not go in the city we all dreamt of. Concerned or vile? Owel. “Karma” was included in the English dictionary for some reasons, which I know you will realize on your own someday. I’ll go wherever I want to go. Good luck on that! Hahaha. Btw, yeah! This is me keeping secrets, still ticking, patient to carry some nuisance bomb for your sake. Haven’t you realized that yet?

All I know is… it’s done. Over. You masochistic, malicious, insecure imbecile! Hope you’re happy with what you did! Go to freakin’ Pennsylvania and get married.  

All I know is… I have a life to live. One that’s devoted to mingle and meet new people and not to be spent with some insentient dreary laptop on my bed. Nuff said. J

 

the wind

maybe this is what's best.

it's getting harder each day pretending not to get affected by your cold heart.

the embers are scattered everywhere and the chill is fastly settling in.

now i found the strength to break away...

to peserve my sanity.

i'ma take my chance and pray.

fly...

into the wind.

i wish you well

magulo ang buhay ko ngayon. masaya. malungkot. ewan.

kung pwede lang mawala ang lahat ng 'to sa isang iyakan, ginawa ko na! pero hinde naman ganun eh...

hope this will be over soon.

tama na... nakakapagod na.

kaya alis na lang ako...

isipin mo na lang yung dating mga moments na di pa komplikado ang mga bagay-bagay.

yung hinde pa ganito... nakakabinging katahimikan. pataasan ng pride. walang pansinan. plastikan.

i wish you well though... really.

what to post?

Uhm… what to post?

I realized it’s been a while since my last post. A lot have happened during my hiatus, so to speak. Haha. I’m now renting a place here in QC with college friend Richard. It’s not that rubbish and noisy just like the old one. Lol. I really like the neighbourhood. It’s near Trinoma! Yihiy! Not to mention it’s flood free when the heavens decide to pour down its mighty rain! Haha.

I’ve been through some emo moments again over the past week. It’s not anyone’s fault, really – it’s just me. I’ve come to realize that I tend to complicate things and dramatize events most of the time. Thanks to Karol, a very close friend of mine, who said that to me bluntly. It’s amazing how he knows when exactly to shut me up and when to let me own the spotlight. Haha. J thanks Karol!

And oh… I forgot! Was supposed to have an anniversary celebration of my blog! Hehe. Just a run down of the things I posted over the year. But I guess I was busy the past month because of these things.

Haaay… and oh yeah! Still don’t have a net connection at home. Buti pa si Mike meron! Haha. Kainggit! So I’m typing this now (9:39pm on the clock), but I don’t know when I’ll have the time to post it. Uhm… there! Non-sense! Can’t forget Mike’s comment that this blog is non-sense! Yabang! Kinda sleepy already! Nyt! J

falling star

Every night I pretend I talk to you
Gaze at the sky and look at its brightest star
Tell stories of how I wish you are mine – here with me shining vividly,
Illuminating every darkened path that precedes me
But all I could do is admire you from afar
Be content with the small light and thrill you convey
Dreaming that one day you’d descend
Like a hustling falling star – bursting to touch the ground with its potent light and calescence
And land on something that it has, as well, stared for so long
Then endlessly tell each other stories of how they were once miles apart
Before one tick of courage made nature determined they’d share one life together.

unbridled

You walked in and for a moment I stopped.
You were your usual “I don’t give a damn” self
A little quiet, ignoring the rest, snobbish – in your element, I should say.
Almost everybody got some time to talk, except for me and you.
I was ready to drop what I felt that instance,
But you turned around and asked: “£%^&*&(*%*()*^%^?”

And there i replied with giggles inside.
That was merely a quarter of a minute, yet it stayed with me this long.

Now that this whole time had passed,
I still haven’t told you I’ve come to love you thiiiiis much!
But things are holding me back…
You’re always making me feel unimportant
I’ve been doing these little things to make you notice that there is a “me”
But all my efforts go nowhere.
Why?
Are you with him already?
There is never a day that I don’t hear his name from you.
I must admit it bugs me. But what can I do?
You two have been inseparable.
What you have are years, while ours is something that only lives in my fairy tale.
Surely, I would agree you look good together – more than us.
You even mentioned once that you wouldn’t move on without him.

Now that the moment has come to set you beyond the horizon,
Please, at least, listen to these simple thoughts…

“I love you so much that it kills me every second you walk through my mind…
So if, for the tiniest chance, you’d want me…
I’m just here. Still hopeful. Just tell me.”

single

omg. i've been out a lot lately. these are some of the pix from last saturday's thing (kalye juan and dolce). what prompted me to write some stuff here about this was regie's forwarded text this noon. although there was pun intended in it, it still hit me. it went something like masaya daw maging single - pwede lumabas at uminom parati, etc... pero pag tapos na lahat ang kasiyahan, masaya pa kaya? pag mag-isa ka nang umuwi. haaay... guilty. haha.

anyway, we ate dinner at kalye juan. the view was cool. haha. it was a tiring day at the clinic so we were kinda quiet while eating. plus, some unknown thing was going on. haha.

special thanks to ma as usual! we paid nothing for the entrance and the drinks. stayed at the VIP section pa. haha. and so much thanks to regie for accompanying me to dolce. i won't ever, ever forget this one. i owe you big time. i enjoyed so much! fun! fun! fun!

... and then it dawned on me! these two people are leaving soon. ma in july while regie in a few months. wala lang... i'm sad. i'll miss them. haha. i'm not really good with handling goodbyes, i must confess. haaay... so i'ma enjoy my time with you while you guys are still here. haha.

...

"When I first saw you I was afraid to talk to you. When I first talked to you, I was afraid to like you. When I liked you, I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you (thiiiiiiiiiis much) I'm afraid to lose you."

- some cute emo stuff I read somewhere.

wish

Feeling vulnerable again. I never thought I'd love you thiiiiiis much! Here i am for the nth time trying to cling to some microscopic possible trace of hope that this time would be different. Why would you do things that'd make me go wooooh but then just leave me hanging on some dead space?! Stop giving me false hopes. If you'll hurt me, have some decency to do it now. Please don't take advantage on the fact that I am so not in my elements when I'm around you. Seeing you rejoicing over your indifference towards me cuts and tears my heart apart. So if you'll go away (like all the others did), do it now. I know it'll hurt but I'm pretty sure I'll get used to it. I'm quite a religious fan of heartaches anyway.

Uhm. I still wish that you'd be my "falling star" though.

sexy at 38

came across these mariah photos on the net. wala lang. sexy at 38 years? why not!? haha. faye texted minutes after saying that she got married to a certain nick cannon who is 11 years her junior. wow! don't know yet if it's true. oh well... anu namang akin dun!? haha.

bought her e=mc2 cd pla the day it was released here. was at the mall at 10am - true to uber loyal fan stature! haha. it was in a site earlier that she went gold here after only 8 days. wow! that's 15, 000 copies sold! so ibig sabihin madame siyang fans dito? haha. anyway, her latest studio album is cool! a lot of thuggy ballads in the tradition of "we belong together". haha. the only thing i noticed though is that most of the songs (10/14 to be exact) from the album could be singles. really... there are a lot of nice tracks here compared to "the emancipation of mimi" though not all are superb - they're just right! the 10-million selling "emancipation" album offered really good singles but also gave quite a lot of mediocre tracks. that i think, is one major difference of the two albums. my current favorites on the new one are "cruise control" (where she does reggae-ish r&b with damian marley), "side effects" (where she talks vividly about her nightmare with ex-husband tommy mottola), and "i stay in love" (a cool thuggy love song). waaaay to go! elvis done! now go beat the beatles! haha.